We want to house the largest number of funny absent notes. They are hard to find and with so many teachers out there, we are sure there are some real doozies. They are so hard to find. Reading them is clean, innocent fun. Why do we want them all? We won't win some sort of absent note prize, we just think they are funny and we want to see them as much as you do.

We hope you enjoy the list we have and it will grow as people add to them.

The absent notes

Please excuse my son from being absent on December 7, 2011. He was abducted by aliens

please excuse randy swaine because he bumped his buttox

please excuse ryan because she was sick and i got him shot

PLEASE EXCUSE CAITLYN because she hads diarea and her pants leaked


Ethan Swaine was absent from school on January 4 & 5 due to an illness.


please excuse miranda from class for the rest of the week for she has a loose tooth

please excuse miranda from class for the rest of the week for she has a loose tooth

please excuse miranda from class for the rest of the week for she has a loose tooth

Please excuse Mary from PE today she has ingrown toenail & does not want to be hit in the head.

Dear Mr.James,
Pleause excuse Faith from school she has broken her elbow again she will be out for the next 5 weeks sorry for the short notice we appreciate everything you do for Faith talk to you soon for a update.


please excuse my son he was not there at school today and im sorry and i will never let him go backthere............................................................................... i meant home

michelle was off as she was not well

Please excuse Robyn for today because i took a dump on the cat and she watched so she went blind..

Please excuse my daughter from school today. She had a heavy flow and got blood all over the walls and she´s still cleaning it...

Please excuse my daughter Alex today she´s having sex with a cop and is not done yet... So if you don´t excuse her then go fuck your mum in the asshole...


My son has a case of the SHITS!

I have to excuse Alejandra for Sunday because she grew a penis.... And fucked her mum and got her pregnant...

my son was absent on 2 dec 2009 because he was suffering from fever so plese give permission to sit in class

please except john, because he got his brand new pants wet and he´s still grounded

Please excuse my son for being absent. He simply hated your subject.

please excuse jenny, she had a hotdog. and it gave her the flu

please excuse bob for not turning in his homework,had diariah nd pooped on his homework

pease excuse bob he had to do a crap outside


absent for a week

Please excuse me from being in school today because I don´t want to get up.

Dear miss,
plzz excuse kate from being absent as she grew very big boobs overnight and i fucked her hard and then gave her titty fuck. then she gave y son a blowjob. thnks
if u excuse her, u can fucck her tooo!!!
kate´s father

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()’s were crossed out.]

This is not fake!

Please excuse George from swim class today. He has a cold and cannot breathe under water.

please excuse Mary from school today, she is very sore from being bent over all day yesterday. She is going to be lying on her back today


Yeh heya em my kido was real tired dis mornin and had a lil dio crap and it really smelled so to prevent any embarrising smells we kept her home to smell it ourselves :D

Hey SUP man!Uhh can u excuse my son from going to school cuz she´s been feelin like crap, you dig?

Please excuse Bob from going to school tomorrow, he´s gonna be sick

please 4gve yasa mughal 4 bein absent da fing z he went 2 hve a hair cut buh unfortunatlii barber goes dh m gna do ur beard first n while he wz doin dh da machinee brkee cuz ov da strength ov his hair dn dey tried an axee dh ddnt work z wel atlast da barber gt angri n he planted a C4 DEREE n which blowed up his face buh his beard wz stll der hangin frm da fleshh. i think for people hu r lyk yasa mughal scientist needs to introduce new kind ov technology to shavee hair lyk steel.


please excuse my son mushy today because last night he was on a pedo pulling mishon and wanted to break his verginity but didnt so now he is very upset

please excuse my dark son enzo from p.e todaiii
due to hes blackouts which he is havin regulary
n plaez excuse hes fwend mushii which has had chicken pox for the last 5 years
fank you for ya undastandin
lov ya


yasaa z bcvyhai r

Yasa is the bigeest chut goin eva since da dai hes born evri1 boi evn girls start grown der hair mucherrr hes a besharam prik chills wd kanu da flyn machineee

Dear Sir/Madam
Please excuse my son, the besharam ishy and his uncle yasa from comin in skul todai, as ishy is busy makin animations about wankers, and yasa is havin a shave, it is a vewy dificult tym for both ov em:D..
thank yew vewy much...
the tooth fairy

please excuse megan from school that day we called the doctor and didnt get an answer.

dear teacher please excuse mike from 7+8th period. he is going t o shopping with me

please exuse my blah blah blah

my son didn´t do his homework because he was washing his turban.

my son was not at scool today because he was ill and went shopping and to the cinima

dear miss davis
lily werent in school on firlday because she was ill

please excuse katrina for january 6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24.25.26,27,28,29,30

please excuse katrina for january 6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24.25.26,27,28,29,30

sabrina has bad case of strep

dear teacher Adrianna is unable to do work she dosen,t want to

Dear Mr. Casella,

Paul Medina cannot attend gym class for two weeks because he has hi pain on the right.

Carol Brown


Please excues takiya broadus she was in our office on 10/24/08.

Dear to whom this may concern

Dear Mr. Shamberger,
Allison was home sick today.

Gina Turner

please excuse shawna martinez from work through the 25th to the 28th of september do to she had a asthma attack and she needs to be on severe light duties until further notice

please excuse shawna martinez from work through the 25th to the 28th of september do to she had a asthma attack and she needs to be on severe light duties until further notice

Please excuse Asia Lewis for the date of

please excuse john from Art he has app


my daughter was absent for june 12.08


acuse tyler from english its bad practic were moving to mexico

Please excuse my child. He has been terified with changes his body has made. I know it was scary when we were like that age too!!

Dear Mrs. Pamela,

Please excuse Danielle from work on May 9th,2008.She had a fever of 101.0

Dr. Joiner

PLease excuse my daughter due to that she had to babysit for me

Please excuse my dear child has started show sighns of the flu and will not be allowed to do get to shool my apolize

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It´s not his fault

Robert will be unable to attend school or work due to nasuea and indigestion.

Please excuse Judy for being absent on january 1st. She was sick so I butt-fucked her all day and now she is feeling much better.

Please excuse John for being absent on monday. He was running around the yard and fell on on my erection, thus causing me to want to butt-fuck him more. I was like "Oooh... yes! yes! YES! OH YEAH!" and he was like "daddy, oww! stop hurting me with your-" then I said "SHUT UP! THIS FEELS GREAT!" then I made him give me a blowjob. It felt just great! I loved it! I said "oh yes! Son, you suck good!" and he was gagging uncontrollably, but it felt sooo fucking good that I only let him breathe for 30 seconds at a time. He now has brain-damage due to extended periods of oxygen-lacking, and it may worsen as time goes by, because every day I force him to swallow my penis. Oh my GOD it felt good!

Justin was not in Class Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Becaue of Family matter.

she was absent due to illnes.



Please excuse Daniel for not being in school yesterday. He came down with a terrible fever and a stomach virus.

jim was not able to go to scool because he had a head on his pain.

my patient frank could not go to school because of the flu virus he was carrying.

I was absent because of a illness




Please excuse Mike from school. His shoes were in the car and the car was impounded by the cops.

Hello! My Son was in washroom,that´s why he can´t came to school.

Please excuse courtney simpson for being absent on tuesday .
she didnt feel t owell so i let her staay home
please feel free to give her all her work from that day.
fantsia simpson

sdfgsdfgsdfgfgs sfgfsdg sdfgdsfgsdf


please excuse Kristen for missing school yesterday.She looked realy hot so i decided to put her to bed

please excuze Jamal from missing school today.he has banging problems

santa came by our house yesterday.For some reason lily looked really hot and turned up.She was red hot and spent all night sceaming pain noises like oh, ah santa please,yaaaa........SO please excuse her from school

Please excuse Elias Jauregui from from school on Wednesday, November 5 2007.

Tracy Leo Roberts is at the dentist



Please expect ________to be absent From School Today She Is VERY SICK she has the flu with a croop caugh she will not be attending school again for apx.2 weeks max!


haha so funny

ggg goijbgb

Please excuse jimmy for being absent friday. He was in bed with explosive diarea


Dear Ms, Teacher´s name,
Excuse my chld,uh JOHN from school for the next two weeks and also last Tuesday third period he was sick and he and his girlfriend was running away.

p.s. pass this around the teacher´s lounge.

thanks TIMMY´s MOM.

my son jann polanco was sick and couldnt make it to school yesterrday

Please escuse L.Montanez from wrok he has asmaha and gout.....

i want my son to be absent.

Please My son from school yesterday he had an appointment for Bill Buttram photography for seinor pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr.Barret

My child canolli was absent during your class do to extreme headaches. Please excuse her and supply her with any work she may have missed.

Thank You

Please exuse___________frome school/work until october 22 monday thank you.


My daughter was absent on Oct 10,2007 for 1 day because her feet was hurt, so she needed to take a rest at home.

please excuse my daughter because she had sex with her dog and cant have babies

Dr.Jim Brown
Canadian Valley Integris
Family Care

Please allow____ to return to work. Said pt has been medically evaluated and passed to return to ___ duties.

I did doing my homework but the jailer won´t let me come to your class. I am innocent.

Mary was in the hospital at blah blah and i´m sorry to say that she passed away on September 30 at exactly 2am this morning

My Patient______________ was seen on _____________ and can return back to his/her regular duties tomorrow.

Henry Pettersen

Just got a note from a parent to excuse a student for being absent.
Note reads: "Please excuse Jessamyn (pronounced Jasmine) for being
absent on 9/20. She had to help a friend get her hair done."
I laughed.
Sent it to the office as unexcused.

Student just returned with a pass from the administrator that the
abscence will be excused!

Dear teachers,

Please excuse Alyssa from her absence for she was suffering from a fatal disease called... totisyfilisitusoasis. One of the symptoms are shes growing nipples everywhere. (They may look like pepperonis).

Thank You

please excuse devan from being absent he had a dentist appt.

Please excuse my son´s tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not
find him till I started making the beds.

Please excuse Tom for being absent today and the whole last month.It´s just that he didnt feel like going to school.:-)

elizabeth got bit by a coca roach and will not be here today

please excuse my son jermey for being apsent he was very sick.

Please excuse John for being absent from school last week. His unle called him retarded now he has mental damage!

please excuse for my son (name) for not going to school on monday because he had a period =P

was under my care

please excuse Jo, he had the lumps

sorry my child could not come to school today because she had got a stomach ache from eating dirty socks ♥ ms burgerlambop

Vincet Roel has strept throat needs three days rest

please excuse walter on

Please excuse Jordan Ashley for being absent 5/17/07. She could not find her left shoe, and as she only had one pair at the house at the time, and as the school regulation book clearly states shirts, shoes, and pants are required, she was unable to attend class properly clothed.
Thank you.

Please excuse Jordan Ashley for being absent yesterday. She was very ill. It is absolutely not because she does not like going to school. In this house, WE SUPORT POOBLIK EDOOCACHUN.

Thank you.

Pleese excuse John from school yesterday. He had diar dai diha the runs.

(Each time the "d" spelling was crossed out.)

To Whom It May Concern:

Amanda Griffis had an appointment on 4/25/07.

Thank you,


out of new york

i need to be excused for the date of saturday march 24, 2007.

thank you

please excuse my daughter, she farted!!!


To whom it may concern;

Please excuse Kimberly Bowens for being absent on 3/14/07 ans 3/15/07 she cut her right index finger severlly and was not able to perform her assigned duties

excuse my albo student he had to gow to the bloody albo frends. ALBO PRIDE TIL WE DAE

Please excuse Jessica Bortters from work on Monday March 5, 2007. She was still ill from Friday March 2, 2007. So she can return to work on Tuesday March 6,2007.

Thank You

John Pender

please excuse henry martinez form being ansent on 03/6/2007.. thank you


Please excute Peter for being absent yesterday. He was too sick.

Please excute Peter for being absent yesterday. He was too sick.

Pleas Excuse merry jo was sick

Please exucse Monica from gym class for a about a week beacuse she has had 2 teeth taken out and is not suppost do any pyhsical movemts.

Please exucse Monica from gym class for a about a week beacuse she has had 2 teeth taken out and is not suppost do any pyhsical movemts.

Please exucse Monica from gym class for a about a week beacuse she has had 2 teeth taken out and is not suppost do any pyhsical movemts.

court day



please excuze my daughter maria .She was realy sick and could not atend school because of the allargise

I am Marian Chainss mother, I would like to inform you that my son was so sick so he couldn´t come to the school, sorry...




DOCTOR NAME:________________


my kid was absent because he had a feber


Herve Lincifort was diagnosted with a mild stomach virus. He was given som anitbiotics and should be fine in a couple of days

Please excuse Mitchell Johnson, he had to stay home and keep his baby brother today

fabian rojas had an appoiment today jenuary,2,07 at 9:30

please excuse andrew garmley from work yesterday

december 23,2006
he was sick

To whom it may concern:

Please excuse Bobby Strength for the following f

please excuse my daughter dill do he was having vibrating comlications in her groin.

please excuse my son moocommabob he got stuck in my vagina and the docotors had to join in to get him out that was the best week of my life.

Please execuse this person

please excuse jess today as she could not be bothered to come into school and doesnt think she will ever go back

Please escues Jack Fromm School on dec 9-11 cuz his Grandma died again

Dear Mr.Sams Jenny was not in school on the 24th because she was under the doctor

Dear Teacher

Billy was not in school cuz he is stuck in the drain again

michelle will not be

Please excuse Raul from school yesterday. He had a stomach egg.

Please excuse my daughter´s absence. She had her periodicals.

My son is under a doctor´s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Sally won´t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don´t know what size she wear.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn´t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.